My great dane never quits pooping. I invited some members of my church over this morning for Sunday brunch and my great dane totally embarrassed me by squating in the middle of the living room and taking a huge stinking, steamy poop in front of 12 people, most of whom were old men and old women. I had to get a giant dust pan from the closet and put on a big plastic cleaning glove and scoop this crap up into a trash bag and it was so horrible. It was like cleaning up horse poop. Then the plastic garbage bag broke and I had dog poop all over the front steps of my house and on the sidewalk. One mess just led to another. My dogs name is Teeny and he can be such a dope sometimes. The look on everyone’s face was of complete horror and shock. The smell was atrocious and I think thats why Nobody even touched the ham and cheese croisant sandwiches I made after that incedent. Then Teeny put his big head up to the dining room table and stuck his big smelly head into the punch bowl and was drinking the sherbet punch I made! I had to shoo him away otherwise I’m sure nobody would have touched the punch either. God does this dog embarrass me sometimes. How can I properly train him? He’s so big and stupid and thinks everything is for him. And here I was trying to impress the pastor and his wife. Lord help me….I want to somehow make a cloth diaper for him so he can use it then I can take the diaper off and take it outside and hose it off. Should I use an old sheet and cut it into a triangle? Where can I buy giant safety pins???